Being Assertive To Communicate Better

Assertiveness can help you control stress and anger to improve communication skills. Learn how to recognize assertive behavior and communication.
Assertiveness is based on mutual respect and it’s an effective communication style for both sides. Being assertive not only shows that you respect others, but you respect yourself because you’re willing to stand up for yourself and express your opinions. It also demonstrates that you’re aware of your rights and are willing to work on resolving conflicts.
Being assertive is a useful communication skill, but being a woman means that you shouldn’t express yourself effectively or stand up for your point of view in many cases. While trying to respect the rights and beliefs of others, we were taught to keep quiet and to keep opinions to ourselves.
However, being assertive can help boost your self-esteem and earn the respect of others. This can help with stress management if you’re the person who tend to take on too many responsibilities because you have a hard time saying no. Some people seem to be naturally assertive, but if you’re like me, you can learn to become assertive.
It’s not just what you say, but how you say it. If you communicate too passively or too aggressively, your message may get lost in translation because people are too busy reacting to your delivery, but being assertive gives you the middle ground to successfully deliver your message. Assertive communication is direct and respectful for everyone involved.
If you are passive, you may appear shy or overly easygoing. You may say things such as “I’ll just go with whatever.” I like to avoid conflict, so I used to speak like this. Because the message you’re sending out is your opinions aren’t as important as those of other people, you give them the opportunity to disregard your wants and needs.
In essence, when you’re too passive, you would say yes when a colleague asks you to take over a project, even though your plate is already full and the extra work means you’ll have to work overtime and miss your daughter’s recital. Your intention may be to keep the peace, but you’re missing out on important things in life.
Always saying yes to everyone can lead to disappointment and poison in your relationships. It may cause internal conflict because your needs and those of your family will come second to less important favors and obligations. The internal conflict that can lead to stress, resentment, anger, and hopelessness.
If you are aggressive, you may appear cocky or conceited. You may come across as a bully who disregards the opinions of others, saying things like “I don’t care what others think.” Aggressive people humiliate and intimidate others while even being non threatening.
You may think that being aggressive gets you what you want, but it comes at a cost of losing respect of others. Aggression undercuts trust as others come to resent you, leading them to avoid or oppose you in later meetings.
If you communicate in a passive-aggressive manner, this is still considered to be aggressive behavior. You may be sarcastic or complain about others behind their backs rather than confront an issue directly. Because you’re uncomfortable being direct about your needs and feelings, you show anger and feelings through your actions and attitude.
Over time, the drawbacks of passive-aggressive communication damages relationships and makes it difficult for you to get your goals and needs met. Being assertive is usually viewed as a healthier way to communicate and offers many benefits. Behaving assertively can help you gain self-confidence, recognize your feelings, earn respect from others. It can improve communication to create win-win situations between you and others. Improve your decision-making skills with assertiveness.

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