How Adoption Changes The Perspective

I remember some of the children during my visit to the orphanage program in Ghana. Some felt uncomfortable to share stories about their biological parents due to not knowing much about them. Many of them would tell me that sometimes they felt something was wrong with them and that they were unlovable. Some of them felt something was missing in their lives since they did not have a normal childhood.

Most days, I do not think too deeply about adoption. When I do, I briefly think about my childhood and know it was different from most people. I would like to think that I had a decent childhood, but from an early age, people asked questions about my biological parents. They wanted to know why my parents do not look anything like me and sometimes I would hear mean comments from peers and adults. Being adopted meant my early life was different.

All I know about them is my biological parents made an adoption plan to provide a better life for me when I was 4 years old. I was born in India, but my foster parents raised me in the United States. We moved around a lot, but I would consider Atlanta my hometown. I don’t know anything else about my biological parents, but I think they’re still alive somewhere in India. I wanted to visit them and ask why they create an adoption plan in order for me to be with my foster family; however, I struggled to find information when I needed to search for my biological parents.

My foster parents typically tried to make things better for me. When I was bullied for being adopted, my parents say things like “You are always a part of my heart.” or “We will always be here for you,” yet sometimes, I wondered what life would have been like if I still lived with my biological parents or imagined my life with another family who would have adopted me. This internal struggle can be emotionally distracting at times since I often wonder about any siblings or relatives that I can get in contact with someday.

A lot of the time, I was longing for information about the biological family to fill the gaps in my medical history. My foster parents do not have access to my original birth certificate or medical information. As I think about having children, I am becoming more interested in my birth and medical history. I am concern about any hereditary illnesses that I might pass on to my children, but I am overall excited about having healthy offspring. I would hope to raise them like how my foster parents raised me.

I learned that day foster children mostly want people to be understanding to their concerns and to be able to talk when they feel comfortable. Mostly, they want to be thought of like other kids who have known their biological parents. As they mature and try to fit into their environment, they will try to find what’s been missing. I strongly encourage foster families to be as open, honest, and respectful to their children when it comes to discussing biological information. When given the right approach, the children feel pride about their identity and feel a greater appreciation for their situation to live a life full of opportunities. Adoption is a personal story told by whatever we have to share to others.

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